A few major things have happened since the last time I posted.
I've been wanting to update but with everything going on, I havent really had the time and to be honest, I sorta didn't want to because I was afraid of the comments I'd get and I wasn't emotionally ready. Actually, I'm still not, so if you've got something harsh, hurtful or negative to say, please just keep it to yourself.

1 major positive thing -
My new job. I've been there over a month and a half already. Crazy how fast time flies. I pretty much love it there. Theres a couple bitches but you get that everywhere I suppose. My job is pretty sweet though, the money is better and the weeks just fly by. I'm pretty happy about it.

1 major negative thing -
Also almost a month and half ago Joe and I decided to take a "break". It went really really bad for me at first, I was really depressed and having really bad panic attacks about it, etc. Then I went through this angry phase where I blamed him for everything. And just recently, I learned to understand it. It sorta just hit me - we are both very great people and we were very happy together but, it took a lot of work and a lot of adjusting and changing on both our parts and so it seems, that maybe we just aren't right for eachother. As sad as it makes me and as much as it kills me inside that my dream for the past two and a half years is no longer, I'm very very grateful for the beautiful time we had ogether and the wonderful friendship we've developed and will continue to share.

1 major neutral?? thing -
I met someone. I know it seems really soon but no, he's not a rebound and no, I'm not using him. We've been hanging out pretty much everyday and he's very quickly becoming a very good friend. He's 28 and has a beautiful 4 year old daughter who I absolutely ADORE, he's nice, sweet, sensitive, gentle, funny, gorgeoussss, mature, we have a ton in common and... he likes me a lot. It scares me to even think it but, he's pretty much "the perfect man" in my eyes. But for now, we're just friends. I mean, Christ, I'm still in love with Joe, but for the future, who knows? He is a great guy...

I left work early today because I wasn't feeling well but he called as I was leaving and wanted me to come over so I stopped out and he and I and Lea (his daughter) went to lunch together, went back to his house and she colored me some pictures, (aww) and then the three of us played hide and seek which ended in a tickle fight haha it was the cutest thing in the world and the most fun I've had in a while. I love hanging out with those two, they're adorable together especially her and the way she calls me "Amanna" in the cutest voice in the world. She's totally got my heart already haha

Anyway, I've got REALLY blonde hair dye in my hair so I've gotta get going but hopefully I'll be writing more later.

See ya.

oh and p.s - I had a second interview and was offered the job on the spot.

I start Tuesday.

Monday, I had an interview and I think it went very well.. so, I'm crossing my fingers.

Today I met my new doctor and he's pretty much wonderfulllll. Or so he seems, so far.

Anddddd tonight, Joe and I went to see Dirty Dancing at the movies for it's 20th Anniversary.
And yes, it was amazing.

Yesterday, I asked Joe what he thought about possibly moving in together by next summer.

He said he thought it was a good idea.

Anddddddddd I am SO happy!
I've been looking at apartments online.. I know, a bit early, but I'm so excited!

: )

My mom put mouse traps down because the people next door had mice and I just found one crawling with a trap caught on its leg in my dining room.

And as I ran and got a paper towel to hold him, and ran to my backyard to set it free, my eyes welled up with huge tears.
I cannot fucking stand animal cruelty of any kind and that completely just ruined my night..

I've been trying to convince myself that his leg is not broken since he was able to run..
I just hope he isn't hurting as much as I am right now   = ' (

Me and my boss have gotten pretty close lately.. it's weird. It feels almost like when Phil was my boss except Peter and I get along SO much better haha I had my monthly one on one meeting with him today and I knew bad news was coming because my production has been sucking lately, but Peter has this way of making me feel like its not my fault and that it'll be ok.. I know that he gives me special treatment.. this has sorta been a long time coming. He ever comforted me saying that he'd make sure I didn't lose my job and that he'd try everything he could do to try to get me into the other position that I want. He's awesome. I seriously couldn't ask for a better boss in that place, I lucked out! I got out at 4:30 today, him at 5:00 but we both ended up staying until almost 7:30 just talking. About work, about ourselves, our personal lives..  about everything. I even confessed to him that I've been looking into finding another job. And he didn't freak out, he kind of gave me this nod that told me that he understood. He said he'd miss me if I left and that it'd be a shame to lose me because he thinks I'm a very valuable employee. He made me feel good, like he knew how hard I've been trying... even when no one else has bothered to acknowledge it. I always wonder if he realizes how much I appreciate everything he's done for me. I've been trying to tell him and show him.

You know whats weird? I like.. have this weird feeling that we'd be really good friends. We were supposed to both be going to this party a girl at work was having last weekend but he never made it out and it was pretty unfortunate because I was looking forward to talking to him outside of our stressful ass work environment with every nosy person breathing down your neck with their ears wide open. He also asked me to go to lunch with him sometime which I thought was nice. And today when I got home, after he offered me a ride to my parking garage so he'd know I made it okay, (how freaking sweet), I texted him, told him he was awesome and said that we should hang out sometime if that wouldn't be weird. He replied back with "I think it would be fun. I'll see you tomorrow!"

I heart my boss.

Today,
A guy hit on me via work email.

Apparently I'm pretty andddd "there's just something about me"
That's made him "watch me since I started working there", back in September.

hahaha how sketchtastic.

*note to self*

Him: These are the most important questions to ask yourself when you're at points like these.

Him: Can I live, function, whatever, without this person?  What emotion do I get from that?

Him: Can I see myself with anyone else?

Him: And most importantly, what does he/she do for me?  Could someone else do that for me?  Could someone else make me FEEL that way?